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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118211">The Past Never Really Goes Away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/manwithaminivan/pseuds/manwithaminivan'>manwithaminivan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a sort of happy ending, F/F, Janis Centric, Janis realizes her actions, Secret Relationship, unhealthy relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:48:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/manwithaminivan/pseuds/manwithaminivan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing Regina get hit by the bus had an effect on everyone, but it hit Janis hard.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Regina George/Janis Sarkisian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Past Never Really Goes Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw // blood</p><p>So. This was written at around 5 am after a night or two of no sleep, so it may have horrible grammar but most of the works on my account do.</p><p>We all know Janis was in the wrong for what she did and we all know Regina was in the wrong for what she did, this is just- I don't even know.<br/>Have fun reading.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Seeing Regina George get hit by a bus was… traumatic to say the least. It was a yellow blur, then a crash, then a bunch of screams. Janis frantically got off the shoulders of the students she was being carried by and ran over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>See, what people failed to realize was that Janis and Regina were together. Sure they put on faces at school, the queen bee and the art freak. But when alone, whether it was in Regina’s huge room or Janis’s dark basement, they were just two teenagers in love. There was no hierarchy, nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So people were certainly confused when Janis got on the ground next to Regina. Her hands not knowing what to do or where to go. The blonde was breathing, barely, her eyes wide in shock and pain. Janis stifled a sob and looked down at her girlfriend. “Hey, hey. Reggie. You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde’s eyes moved slightly, looking at Janis, or maybe behind her. It didn’t matter. Janis let out a shaky breath, “It’s gonna be fine. I promise you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew the words were wrong as soon as they left her mouth. She shouldn’t promise anything because right now Regina’s blood was pooling around them and somehow medics weren’t there. Gretchen and Karen were there now too, looking down at the girl with shock and fear written all over there faces. “Don’t die on me, blondie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before she could say anything else Damian’s big arms were wrapped around her and he dragged her away. People had started crowding on the sidewalk and Janis still couldn’t take her eyes off the blonde on the road. She looked cold in school, lifeless, but somehow she looked like she had more life in her than ever before. Maybe it was seeing her bleed, a reminder that Regina George was indeed a human being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a side of her only Janis knew really. The way she liked to be held, the way she blushed at any pet names. A softer side. Of course, a secret relationship had its downfalls, but… they were happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t muffle her cries anymore as Damian set her on the sidewalk and sat next to her. She collapsed into him, gripping onto his shirt as tight as possible, her breath shaky. He held her tight, whispering reassuring things to her as the sounds of sirens appeared in the background.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After who knows how long Damian helped her up, she was shaking, unaware of her surroundings. Damian sighed, “Jan, we should get you cleaned up and then home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked up at him in confusion, she felt clean. She wasn’t the one who was laid on the ground in a pool of her own blood. Damian took her wrist and held them up, showing her the red stains and dripping liquid on them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Regina. It was Regina’s blood. Regina’s blood was on her hands. She killed Regina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I killed Regina. I did this.” Her voice was shaky as she looked at her hands, unable to pry her eyes away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, honey. You didn’t. She’s on her way to the hospital. Come on.” He walked her back into the school building and into the girl’s restroom. Turning on the water and slowly putting her hands under it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mind wandered as he helped her. She caused all of this. The </span>
  <span>Kälteen</span>
  <span> bars were supposed to be the end of it. It should never have gone this far. It wasn’t supposed to go this far. It was a mindless prank! How could it have gone this far? If she hadn’t made the speech Regina wouldn’t have run out with Cady on her heels. Regina wouldn’t have been hit by a bus if it wasn’t for Janis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian grabbed a paper towel and dried her hands, his touch soft and caring. “Give me your keys, I’ll drive you home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded slowly and dug into her jacket pocket, not daring to look down for fear of it being stained with blood. She handed them over and he guided her out. People were still crowded around, some were crying others were already starting rumors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian got into the driver’s seat and Janis went around to the passenger, sighing as she buckled up. The car started up and they pulled out. Trees went by in a blur, why was Damian going so fast? Or was it just her? She closed her eyes and leaned back, the radio playing some soft song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over slightly, seeing her eyes still closed and looking back at the road, “Yeah, Jan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A beat of silence hit before he nodded and sighed, “I know, hon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” She wasn’t in the mindset to press on further about how he knows. Why he didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pulled into her house after a few minutes and they both got out, Janis finally able to stand and walk on her own. Damian unlocked the door with the set of keys he had and closed it behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis immediately took off her jacket and put it in the laundry machine. She looked to Damian who looked both empathetic and concerned. She walked into the kitchen and took off her shoes, grabbing a water bottle and tossing it to him before grabbing one herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jan. I think you need to slow down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I need to get out of these clothes. I’ll meet you in the basement.” He nodded and went down the stairs. Janis went up and into her room. She didn’t look in the mirror, didn’t look at the clothes. Just took them off and changed into an oversized shirt and some shorts</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waddled downstairs as she finished off the water, sighing as she collapsed into Damian once more. He reached across her to grab the remote and put on a random movie. He put a hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles as she began to cry softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t your fault, alright? Regina is gonna be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a little hope, Jan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis spent the next week at home. Guilt was overwhelming her. She knew Regina was okay and was currently in the hospital, supposed to be discharged soon. But still, she couldn’t bring herself to go see her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Does Regina hate her? Despise her for what happened…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook the thoughts from her head as her mom came into her room. She leaned in the doorway, a small calming smile on her face. “What’s going on, kid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Just thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother nodded, “You know you can go visit her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sentence hit her like a ton of bricks. She had thought of going sure, but hearing someone say it was different. “I know. It’s just… it’s complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, you saw her get hit. I know it’s difficult to shake that but maybe seeing that shes okay would help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s complicated in a different way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seemingly understanding what Janis meant her mom sighed. A silence encompassed them. Janis fidgeting under her mother’s persistent glare, asking for more, hoping for more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Well, I’m going to work. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis finally looked up and saw that she was indeed in her scrubs. “Okay. See you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother closed the door and within a few seconds, the front door was slammed shut. She sighed and leaned back on the bed, closing her eyes to ward off the coming headache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her head was just filled with thoughts and images of Regina. The movie nights, the sneaking to the back of the school during their free periods. Every moment with her now seemed to mean even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She had to make things right. Quickly she got out of bed and looked in the mirror. She hadn’t showered in maybe three days, not finding the energy nor the will. Determined to not look like a dumpster fire she started a shower and got in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After 30 minutes of deciding what to wear she settled on a simple Nirvana t-shirt, a denim jacket, and ripped jeans. Taking one last look in the mirror she sighed and grabbed her keys. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every minute she drove the more she wanted to turn back. Thoughts overwhelming her about Regina’s response. She shook them all to the back of her mind and parked. She took a few breaths before heading in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The front desk lady was quite helpful and guided her to Regina’s room. She stood outside it for a moment. Her hands shaking slightly before she went in. Regina was sitting on the edge of the bed, her head in a spinal halo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sight was enough to make Janis cry but when Regina turned slightly and a small smile crossed her face, she smiled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if you were ever going to visit me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis felt guilty, “Sorry. I thought you’d be mad at me.” She moved further into the room and sat on the chair across from Regina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was at first. Hearing your speech about how it was you was… shocking to say the least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How could you, Jan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis didn’t know how to answer. Sure, Regina was a horrible person to her from 8th grade to sophomore year but they had made up. She apologized so why did she do this. Why did she let her petty need for some fake revenge get the better?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina sighed, looking at the floor, “You know I died for 15 seconds? Yeah, a whole fifteen seconds I wasn’t here anymore, and… it was nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis looked up, stunned at the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But then, I realized you weren’t there anymore. You weren’t telling me it was okay and that it would be fine. And it was no longer nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Regina, I don’t know what to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew that we could never really get past what I did in 8th grade. No amount of apologies or late night talks could ever take back what I did. Because we still weren’t fine, no one knew I had apologized… it made it null and void.” Regina looked up and met Janis’s gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that. I didn’t do it because of that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what was it, Janis?! What was it…” Regina’s voice had a new fierceness to it, she was obviously fighting back tears. “There was a reason and we both know what it was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood as she tried to think about what was being said. Regina was right, why would she do this if she wasn’t feeling some kind of resentment. Maybe their whole relationship was built on old feelings, just denying the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still... I still care about you, Reggie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina smiled slightly, “I care about you too, Jan, but this wasn’t healthy. Me asking you to hide us wasn’t okay, me not stopping the bullying wasn’t okay. We were just filling the void.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janis. We’re over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words hung in the air. Regina wasn’t even crying, still somehow able to repress it all. Perks of being the ice queen. Janis however was crying, tears burned her cheeks as she thought it all over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for coming to see me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis nodded and stood. She felt like she did when Regina was hit. Nothing but everything at the same time. She walked out of the room, hands shoved into her pockets as she left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as her car door slammed shut she broke. She rested her head on the steering wheel as she sobbed. Deep down she knew Regina was right, she knew that what they were doing wasn’t healthy. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride home felt longer than anything before. Her cheeks stained with tears and forehead imprinted with the pattern from the steering wheel. She got out and walked inside, she walked upstairs and flopped onto her bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stared at the ceiling, remembering that she had to go in for school tomorrow, not allowed to miss any more days. Besides, Friday was Spring Fling and Damian had been begging her to go all year, she didn’t want to let him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was 3 am when she finally fell asleep crying and curled up in a ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian wrapped her arm around her as he sat at the lunch table, smiling and going on and on about some boy. She wasn’t listening though, just watching and looking. Apparently Cady had been suspended and was just now coming back. She saw her at the doors to the lunchroom, looking around for somewhere to sit. They made eye contact for a brief moment before Janis looked away, not yet ready for that conversation. Eventually, Cady left, going to eat somewhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed and finished her food, tuning back into Damian,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So yeah, I think he’s totally into me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Friday night rolled around and Janis adjusted her suit. She and Damian had gone for a matching look and she smiled seeing him in it. Music was playing in the background as they talked. That was until Damian looked behind her and sighed, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned and there was Cady, “Janis, can we talk?” She hadn’t even thought of Cady for weeks, only focused on Regina. But now that she was her, she wanted nothing to do with it. Talking to Cady would mean admitting she did something wrong again. Not just to Regina this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So in a moment of what she can only declare as insanity, she turned to face Damian, “Uh not right now me and my date are making out.” She grabbed him by the shirt collar and tried to pull him close only for him to push her away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ew Janis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cady opened her mouth but was cut off by Principal Duvall luckily. “Alright students. Time to announce your Spring Fling Queen and King.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music died down and students looked up to the stage, “Alright your king is… Shane Oman!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A bunch of guys and girls cheered as Shane went up and a crown was placed on his head. Janis wasn’t surprised. He was a pretty popular dude and though the rumor was that Regina and he were hooking up it was actually Regina and Janis. Props to Regina for convincing Gretchen of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And your queen is…. Caddy Heron!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Janis chuckled, shaking her head and looking at Cady who looked at her like a puppy waiting for the go-ahead. She smiled and Cady ran up to the stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow. Um, thank you,” Cady said, sighing. And that was the beginning of a four-minute-long speech about how everyone in this room deserved a crown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janis smiled, it was nice how she kept going on and on even as Duvall practically begged her to stop. Regina and Janis made eye contact as Cady spoke, “You’re all stars.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regina smiled and shot her an awkward wink which Janis smiled at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t great but maybe this would be the start of a new friend group. One without the fear of social destruction at the wrong word. One with real apologies and real feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A new start.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aha, so I'm a sucker for Rejanis if it wasn't obvious but I think it's important to realize that their relationship can only work if both of them have owned up to what they did and went through and got help. So since they didn't happen in this, of course, they had to break it off. </p><p>One thing: There's not really a 'posting schedule' for this. I'll just post whenever I feel like it.</p><p>Anyway, if you enjoyed reading leave a kudos or a comment, they make my day, honestly.<br/>(requests? send them over to my tumblr -- @manwithaminivan)</p><p>And as always here's a quote,</p><p>"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward." - Steve Maraboli</p><p>(i think that one applies to this fic.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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